Wednesday, August 30, 2017

Most girls... or not

(I haven't blogged in almost 18 months, but there is something soothing about writing that my body and mind definitely need today. Enjoy.)

I listen to music more than most people. I can't help it... music moves my body, soothes my brokenness and unquestionably fills a void for me. So it shouldn't surprise anyone when I tell you that I have found a song that inspires me. Heck, it happens several times each week! Today was different though. I was about to jump in the shower after a hard workout. I threw on some music and then stood still and listened to the words that came on. "I wanna be like most girls." I closed my eyes and listened more closely, five or six times on repeat. (In fact, I am playing the song again while I write.) 



Most girls are smart and strong and beautiful
Most girls, work hard, go far, we are unstoppable
Most girls, our fight to make every day, no two are the same
I wanna be like, I wanna be like, most girls
I wanna be like, I wanna be like, most girls
At first, I thought that Hailee Steinfeld had nailed it. This is definitely a girl power song, reminding us to be "smart and strong and beautiful." She kicks her heels off and changes outfits close to 10 times in the video... how fun! She encourages us to do life the way that makes us the most comfortable, finding what works or what doesn't. Yay, girls! Right? ....or not.

Before you throw me under the bus, hear me out. I am all about building each other up, supporting strength and courage, and redefining the standards the world has set for women. But isn't that almost the opposite of what she is saying? I love the song, I promise you. Like I told you, I have it on repeat and the volume is all the way up. However, what I don't love is that she wants to be the same as other girls. What happened to our desire to be unique, special, and powerful in our own bodies? Why are we suddenly putting our quirks, our abilities, our talents on the back burner and striving for sameness?? Since they were babies, I have told my daughters to always be themselves. That is rarely the popular choice and almost never the easiest, but it is always worth it. 

I DON'T want to be like most girls. I want to challenge myself. I want to be faster. I want to be healthier. I want to push myself beyond my own limits. I want to dress the way I want, not the way anyone tells me I should. I want to be stronger. I want to love myself more. I want to love others harder. I want to wear makeup if and when I choose, rather than everyday. I want to pray more confidently. I want to be kinder. I want to speak my mind when the world tells me to be quiet. I want to bravely fight the battles no one talks about, i.e. addiction, self-esteem and mental health. I want to be the exception to the rule when it comes to the way I give... time, talent or treasure.
 
Did you guys catch the VMAs this past weekend? P!nk was spot on in her speech about her recent conversation with her daughter. You know that she refuses to conform to anyone or anything. She said to her daughter, “We don’t change. We take the gravel in the shell and we make a pearl. And we help other people to change so they can see more kinds of beauty.” More kinds of beauty... that's what I want to see in this world. No carbon copies. No same-old-same-old.  And I want to see women who aren't f*cking afraid to be themselves, whatever that looks like. If you want to be stronger, be stronger. If you want to have a bigger heart, love harder. If you want to be more confident, find that. Be happier. Be better. Be unique. Be YOU. But DO NOT conform to this world.



Be whoever the hell you want to be. And do it with everything you have. That's the only way.