Sunday, September 24, 2017

Find your greatness

Have you ever attended something you think is going to be ordinary and when you are done, you cannot believe what just happened? I had this type of experience yesterday... an ordinary adventure turned exceptional after a few simple words were uttered.

FIND. YOUR. GREATNESS.

It was a normal Saturday. I got up earlier than I wanted to, I ran farther than I wanted to (let's be honest... any distance at this point is farther than I want, that darned half marathon training plan haha...), and I hung out at home and relaxed for a bit. My kids and I then had plans to attend an event sponsored by our church. The two younger ones had invited friends along for the afternoon, so I reluctantly got ready, packed up the car and left to start the carpool service. It wasn't that I didn't want to go, really. Yesterday was just a hard day. If you know me or have read any of my previous posts, you are probably aware that I struggle with mental illnesses and a not-so-stellar past. I hit patches of time in my life where I can't seem to "get it together" even though that is often the advice I hear from acquaintances who just don't understand my history. It wasn't that I didn't want to go... I just didn't have much energy to put into the event or the activities we would be doing. And as a chaperone, I wasn't even certain what my responsibilities would include.

When we arrived at the venue, I kept thinking how much my body was hurting from my morning run, how much I would rather be at home, the fact that I didn't see my husband yesterday with his work schedule and how if I were at home, I might be able to sneak upstairs and see him for a second before he left again for work. We got out of the car and greeted our friends from church, waiting for a few minutes before the activities were to start. And then we began with a prayer and a small talk by one of our hosts, Ken. He asked the kids to name two people that they admired as well as writing down what they wanted to be when they grew up. After a few minutes, the kids turned in their papers and he read us the answers. Then he asked them why they had chosen the names they had written down. Most of the kids responded that it was because of something the person did or made the kids feel about themselves.... "Michael Jordan has this and that record," or "My mom always believes in me when I don't think I can do it." He discussed the fact that all of the names written down had one thing in common. Greatness. They each had their own greatness that the kids were able to recognize and identify with. And then he said these words, "Find your greatness." Ouch. Eww. What? Me?!

Earlier in the day after my run, I had analyzed everything about it from distance to pace, effort to mood, the terrain, even my heart rate. For the better part of a year, I have been striving to get back to running. Yes, I run. But it never feels good enough. I have not been able to get back to my previous pace or weight, and each day just feels like more of a failure in my own eyes. When Ken said, "Find your greatness," I really just wanted to go home. "I'm not great at anything," the internal monologue began. "Nothing I do is worthy of recognition or medals."

The definition of greatness according to Merriam-Webster is simply "exceptionally high quality."

It does not say you have to be first. No where does it state that greatness requires you to be the smartest. Or the strongest, fastest or the best. And while I agree with that definition, I want to add that maybe "exceptionally high quality" might not be the only way to describe greatness.



What if greatness really means how you lead others to be great? What do you do to help other people find their own greatness? We don't all have the same skill sets. Gosh, that would be boring! But we are certainly all called to something bigger and better than ourselves in this world, right? We are taught to always strive to be more... I just think maybe we have missed the boat on this one. Greatness isn't about being the most talented basketball or football player (if you are, keep going, that's not what I'm saying). It's not about having the highest IQ in the country or getting the most movie roles before you turn 30 or seeing your name published in TIME magazine's 100 Most Significant People in History. I actually think it is SO MUCH MORE.

Being great requires us to CHOOSE to live in greatness every day. We must believe in ourselves and what we are capable of, as well as strive to bring others along on the journey with us. Again, I'm not the fastest runner. I will never qualify for the Boston Marathon. At this point, I doubt I'll win any more medals or beat any of my previous PRs (personal records). However, as long as I keep showing up, especially on the days I don't want to, as long as I continue fighting the voice in my head that tells me I suck, I believe I am leading someone else to find their stamina, their strength, their greatness. I hope I am encouraging them not to give up when life gets hard and $hit gets real and it feels like everything is against them. I think THAT is greatness. I think THAT is what I am called to be and do in this life.

Our evening was incredible yesterday. We learned some MMA fighting including self-defense, we ran around and laughed, we cried, we ate, we prayed and we learned. After several hours of fun, the kids didn't want to leave. They had enjoyed themselves so much, they didn't even realize they had been learning. And neither did I... until I got home last night. The phrase "find your greatness" kept echoing in my head. I talked to my mom this morning about all of the things that were swirling around in my mind, the things I have shared here. I wrote furiously before church this morning to make sure I wouldn't forget any of them. Yet it still doesn't feel like enough. I want to hold on to your shoulders and look you in the eye and tell you to FIND YOUR GREATNESS, then hug you and tell you that you are worthy and loved and capable of so much more than you know. Maybe that's why I blog... to tell myself the things that *I* need to hear, in a more concrete way. In a few months, I will go back to this post and read it and think, "Huh, that was pretty good," just like I have done with other things I have written. I hope you will, too.

Whatever greatness YOU have been designed for, maybe the one that fills your heart or the one that God has chosen for you (maybe you have yet to experience it), may it bring you peace and fulfillment. May it nourish you unquestionably so you know that this, THIS is what you are called to pursue. If you haven't found it yet, keep searching. It's out there somewhere, just waiting for you to pick up and run with it (literally or figuratively). I'm standing in your corner. Let's find our greatness together!