Elephant in the room...

Fake. That used to be a very good word to describe my life. I faked everything because on the inside, I was absolutely miserable. I wasn't happy. My clothes were never comfortable. I constantly wondered what other people were thinking when they looked at me. Life was hard.

You see those top three pictures? The first one was taken on a retreat. It took everything in me to hold it together for that weekend. The middle picture was taken in paradise, literally. We were in the Dominican Republic on an all-expenses paid trip. Next to me (but cut out of the picture) is an incredibly inspiring woman I couldn't wait to meet. However, I just wanted to go home. You can't hide in a bathing suit on the beach. On the right is a picture taken in the Blue Ridge Mountains. I loved seeing the mountains and spending time at a family wedding, but it still took everything not to feel like I was the elephant in the room.

The bottom pictures were all taken after I made the decision to change my life. In February (on the left), I was snuggling with my kids and I remember not having to force that smile, the extra material on my sweatshirt just laying in my lap. The middle picture was taken at a birthday party. I loved being in a dress and heels that day. I felt more alive than I had in years. On the right, a bathroom selfie. Yes, we have a gorgeous skylight in our bathroom and I have a collarbone!!! That day was an "I look HOT" day and I had to take a picture! (I am pretty sure I am still completely in love with that day and that picture.)

Bold. That's the word I should use now. I don't like to live life inside anymore. I go out and play with my kids. I try new things. I wear shorts and tank tops, skirts, and fitted things. I do the things that used to really scare me. And I don't give up as easily anymore. I have found the happiness I only prayed for, but didn't know really existed.

I know everyone won't have the same story as mine. They shouldn't -- we each have a journey. But you don't have to go it alone, and you really can accomplish it if you want it!