I am not your competition.

Sometimes I think we completely miss the boat on things. As a society, we are quick to judge and quicker to condemn. It seems to be our first instinct to tear people down rather than build them up. I don't believe this is the way we were meant to live.

Last night, I got a very hurtful message. Alright, that's an exaggeration. It was a really nasty message intended to tear me apart, it made my ears burn (they get red and hot when I'm angry) and I have a nice sore in my mouth from biting my lip. Literally. For the first hour after I read it, I used all sorts of cuss words, texted my best friend, and tried to decide between screaming at the top of my lungs or going for a high-speed drive with the radio cranked and my windows down. To your disappointment (and mine), I washed the dishes and headed upstairs to journal.

Why would she say those things? Are they true? Am I really <insert awful things she said about me>?

Woah. Wait a minute. Breathe in for 4... hold the air for 4... breathe out for 8. (Thank you, Les Mills BodyFlow!) I know who I am, I know what I've come through and I know what's truly in my heart. None of that information aligns with what she said. So it sounds like an open/shut case, right? Ehhh, not so much.

I don't like conflict. I would rather smooth things over and bite my tongue than cause an argument with someone. However, I couldn't let this one go without finding the lesson. And then it hit me... I am not your competition. I don't want you to be jealous of me. I don't have it all together. I'm not perfect. I am not trying to be better or faster or stronger than you! I have my own outrageous expectations of myself, I promise. But none of them have anything to do with you. And truthfully, I hope we all make it. I'm pulling for you. I love seeing new people at the gym -- they inspire me because I remember how hard it was to walk through those doors. When someone tries a class for the first time, I pray that they come back. That first class is the hardest one. And the regulars are just as awesome -- they are still fighting for their health everyday, despite injuries and obstacles. Until recently, I was training with a team of mostly first-time half marathoners. Some of us had never run before. Ever. I am stoked to see each one of them cross that finish line. But once more, I am not your competition. I'm your cheerleader. I'll cheer for you even if I don't know you and I hope you would do the same for the next guy.

So the next time you feel tempted to pass judgment on someone or spout off hurtful words, why not listen and encourage them instead? There is no woman out there who can tell you she has too many good friends and I find it hard to believe I could find a man who wouldn't be excited about a new hunting buddy or more pals with whom he could watch the game.

I'm rooting for you! I know you can do this! Thanks for believing in me, too.