Just a girl who decided to go for it, lost weight, gained some back, discovered her true self, and began loving life. This is my little way of helping others achieve a healthier, happier lifestyle.
So because this is my third time typing out this entire post I want to reiterate the fact that this is exactly what I will talk about throughout the post lol. I was going to post earlier but I decided to wait until the end of the day until I was a little less cranky and a little more reflective. If I could hear anything right now it would be that it would be okay in the end. By the end I mean all of this struggle that I have to go through and I love the fight but I have to give will turn into something positive with less trouble and less fight. It can be hard being me and I have a lot on my plate and I absolutely and unequivocally understand and know that it is a major factor in my weight gain of approximately 80 pounds, mild health issues over the last 2 years, and why I have decided to alienate myself basically. So what I want to hear is that all of the struggles and the fighting that I do on a daily basis just to make it through that day into the next will be a little easier down the road. And maybe, just maybe, I won't have to walk it alone.
What do I wish I could hear? That I am going to do it, that I will succeed. Mainly, I would like to believe it. I know that sounds negative, but I have been through this battle oh so many times. I know I can, but I want to know I will. It's the shift in my mentality I need to make. I am definitely my own worst enemy. My inner food addict and eating disorder voice can get so loud sometimes that it's deafening. I am working through these issues in another program and plan on making an appointment with an amazing counselor for these issues. I need to do that this week. I love that these prompts and exercise plans Darcie has created get me thinking and processing. Why haven't I succeeded in the past? Am I afraid? What of? I don't know. I know, for me, that a full and complete relationship with God is a critical part of my answer. It really is my answer. I prayed for him to really show me myself, show me my character defects. And boy - is He showing me. I have learned so much about myself in the last few months. Not all rosy, but by acknowledging myself and who I am will lead me on the path to success. It may not happen in the timeframe I have determined, but it will happen in His. If I listen and if I act. A bible verse I read recently and carry is - Faith without works is dead. James 2:14 I have got to do the works and have faith that my life and body can be transformed.
So because this is my third time typing out this entire post I want to reiterate the fact that this is exactly what I will talk about throughout the post lol. I was going to post earlier but I decided to wait until the end of the day until I was a little less cranky and a little more reflective. If I could hear anything right now it would be that it would be okay in the end. By the end I mean all of this struggle that I have to go through and I love the fight but I have to give will turn into something positive with less trouble and less fight. It can be hard being me and I have a lot on my plate and I absolutely and unequivocally understand and know that it is a major factor in my weight gain of approximately 80 pounds, mild health issues over the last 2 years, and why I have decided to alienate myself basically. So what I want to hear is that all of the struggles and the fighting that I do on a daily basis just to make it through that day into the next will be a little easier down the road. And maybe, just maybe, I won't have to walk it alone.
ReplyDeleteWhat do I wish I could hear? That I am going to do it, that I will succeed.
ReplyDeleteMainly, I would like to believe it. I know that sounds negative, but I have been through this battle oh so many times. I know I can, but I want to know I will. It's the shift in my mentality I need to make.
I am definitely my own worst enemy. My inner food addict and eating disorder voice can get so loud sometimes that it's deafening. I am working through these issues in another program and plan on making an appointment with an amazing counselor for these issues. I need to do that this week.
I love that these prompts and exercise plans Darcie has created get me thinking and processing.
Why haven't I succeeded in the past? Am I afraid? What of? I don't know.
I know, for me, that a full and complete relationship with God is a critical part of my answer. It really is my answer. I prayed for him to really show me myself, show me my character defects. And boy - is He showing me. I have learned so much about myself in the last few months. Not all rosy, but by acknowledging myself and who I am will lead me on the path to success. It may not happen in the timeframe I have determined, but it will happen in His. If I listen and if I act.
A bible verse I read recently and carry is - Faith without works is dead. James 2:14
I have got to do the works and have faith that my life and body can be transformed.