The last team member

I don't want to ever forget my first half marathon. I decided that the best way to remember is to write about it and blog because why not?!

The Runner's World Half Marathon & Festival was wonderful! The six hour drive was long, but being with my girlfriends made it enjoyable. We sang and laughed and really enjoyed our time together. I tried to relax, but I couldn't do it. I had watched the course video at least 5 times before we got to Bethlehem. I had memorized the elevation chart. I knew there were hills and curves, water, Ultima, and a food station. However, I was still doubting my ability to cross the finish line. I only know a small group of half-marathoners. They trained for months. Some of them still struggled to push through the pain and exhaustion. And I was the last team member to complete my race after a whirlwind ambitious training plan. My heart was heavy with doubt and fear.

We lined up early in the morning. It was 31 degrees... my muscles were shaking. I was so nervous, I kept feeling sick to my stomach. All I wanted to do was go home. What if I couldn't do this?! We lined up just behind the 9:30 minute mile pace marker. I could not stand still. I said some prayers and turned on my music. I set my running app and took a deep breath. Deena Kastor spoke, but I honestly have no idea what she said. And then the National Anthem began. It was the most beautiful rendition I have ever heard in my life. My body stopped completely. I felt a wave wash over me from head to toe, slowly. And then the countdown...

The first few miles were spent (for the most part) next to my coach. Her presence was amazing. I wasn't as scared. My breathing was good. We didn't talk much except for our normal, "You okay?" check-ins here and there. Nothing hurt until mile 3... my knee decided to give out for a quick second, but I wasn't about to let that stop me. We pushed on.

Somewhere around mile 5.5, we hit a hill. I went ahead from her a little. The plan was to stop just after mile 6 at the food station and reunite with her. Surprise -- no food station after mile 6. My head fell. I knew I was going to have to finish the next 7 miles without her by my side. I crossed over the 10k pad and got a beautiful text from my friend. She had been following my progress. Tears streamed down my face... "...you fierce and brave lady!!!"

Throughout the course, we passed at least four or five marching bands. Their enthusiasm was awesome. I high-fived lots of kids, thanked as many volunteers as possible and smiled a ton. I remember a little old lady with her cowbell, holding her cane over her forearm. "Go, runners!" she exclaimed. I laughed so hard and thanked her!

We ran past a cemetery and the guy next to me said, "Run faster, before the zombies come out." Comic relief helped tremendously. We rounded a corner and the sun came out. After running in 31 degree weather for over an hour, I was still frozen. I closed my eyes and thanked God for the sunshine. It felt so good on my face! 

I prayed. I sang. I cried. I talked to my running angel. I heard my coach in my head many times even though we weren't together. I heard my training team cheering in my ear (I love you, Nike Running+ App!!!). I even held up many half hearts along the way when I needed them the most.

Each mile had a marker AND a timer clock. Thank you, Runner's World! And while I didn't have a set finishing time in mind, with each passing mile, I held on tighter to the idea that I could finish under 2:15:00.

Mile 8 was hard. I had taken one bite of my very frozen granola bar around mile 6, but I was running out of fuel. And then I saw them... dixie cups. "Pretzels and gummy bears." I looked in the cup before taking it... RED GUMMY BEARS!!! I ate one, wrapped the cup into a ball and shoved it in my pocket. Onward.

As I approached mile 10, I panicked. I had never run more than 10 miles in my training. What if I couldn't finish? Maybe I should wait for my coach... she could help me finish. Without even a second of hesitation, I could hear her voice telling me that I was not going to stop and wait. I touched my wrist -- I wear two Mantra Bands daily. All I need is within me. Never give up. I took a deep breath and turned my music up a little louder. My playlist suddenly got to a place I had never reached before... new songs were fantastic at that point!

Mile 11 brought the city back into view. The lyrics in my ear said, "Fight like a warrior." I was transported back to the day my doctor said I couldn't run, the walking boot I had to wear, the 8 weeks of no running, all of the tears I had shed, the breakdown that led to my ambitious training. "You're not even tired." The voices in a runner's head can be hysterical. And there she was... a young, smiling photographer. She captured the BEST moment of the race -- love for my Team LeAnn!

I'd love to say that the last few miles were effortless, but they took everything I had. My knee had given out two more times. I was spent. Two incredible women were running my pace for most of the race. I made sure they were in my sight at all times. I appreciate them more than they even know! Sepideh & Shereen, I am so grateful that you were there, running my pace, smiling and lifting my spirits!

One more hill, down and around to the Steel Stacks. I wanted to walk. My legs were hurting so badly. I didn't even think I could make it to the finish line. However, when I rounded the last corner, I saw the flaming arch and knew it was time to kick, no matter how much it hurt.

Kick. I said it out loud several times. KICK. And then I saw the clock. I felt my wings. And I flew. 2:14:32.

I was sobbing as I crossed the finish line. I had done it. There's nothing quite like the finish line... except the medal they put on your neck... and knowing that you are one bad@$$ mother runner... and finally wearing your tattoo proudly because you are, in fact, unstoppable. It was a day for the record books. And a good day to pray. None of this was done by me alone. Yes, my legs carried me, along with God, my family, my coach, my angel, my team and my friends.

Things I'm extra grateful for today (in no particular order):

Friends. True, honest, hardcore friends
Race volunteers
Red gummy bears
Space blankets
Heated seats
Leggings
Open fields and Autumn leaves
Primanti Bros.
Rump Shaker